Welcome to the MOB: Mountain Bike Clubbing in Beijing

Problems with Hotmail Yahoo, Sohuand (vip.)sina.com accounts: Many people using Hotmail and Jahoo complain that they are not receiving our Mob eFlyers. It seems that they are running some Anti-Spam rules that mean that the Mob emails get junked. Please check your spam settings or folders, as the emails will be in there somewhere. Also mid May 2006 many users in China are reporting that Hotmail is being blocked. This may still be happening as of end of July.

Problems with viruses - we are getting blacklisted on some accounts (eg gta.com.cn) because viruses apparently emanating from the Mob get around.. Please make sure that your are protected when surfing (anti-virus, firewall and latest patches) esp when using Microsoft products :-(

The pix page is being updated. Please send your pix for inclusion (no email size limitations), the more the merrier!.. Also don't forget our Messageboard! If you need to buy or sell bikes, want info on equipment, what colour underwear or socks Lance wears, this is the place to go!

Errm, silly Olympics. (400K powerpoint file) Will have to see what the Chinese invent for the 2008 Olympics course at Loashang here in Beijing...

Most sections of this website are open to everyone (photo gallery, news, etc.), but some are members only. In order to have full access (members page, SuperQuiz, etc.) you will need to register as a member. The idea is that you register only if you are planning to ride with us.

Please note that you still need to send us an e-mail (themob@404.com.au) if you want to receive our weekly newsletter or sign up for an activity, as we haven't got round to automatising these functions yet. If it is the first time you contact us please include your full name, nationality, mobile phone number, level of fitness, and what kind of bike you have.

Want to know what 'the MOB' stands for or how our club came into being? Then go to the About Us page. Read more about our club's regulations and rides are organised on our Useful Info page. If you want to sign up as a member, then go to the Members page. If you want to sign up for a ride, then go to the Sign Up page.

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he perfomed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events at the olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago, a cowboy, who was high on cocaine and alcohol, rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now, he's president of the United States."

Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza
Hut. May I have your national ID
number?

Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an
order.

Operator: I must have your NIDN first,
sir.

Customer: My National ID Number, yeah,
hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.

Operator: Thank you Mr. Smith. I see you
live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the
phone number is 494-2366. Your office
number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-
2302 and your cell number is 266-2566.
Email address is smith@home.net Which
number are you calling from?

Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you
get all this information?

Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

Customer: The HSS, what is that?

Operator: We're wired into the Homeland
Security System, sir. This will add only
15 seconds to your ordering time.

Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to
order a couple of your All Meat
Special pizzas.

Operator: I don't think that's a good
idea, sir.

Customer: Whaddya mean?

Operator: Sir, your medical records and
commode sensors indicate that you've got
very high blood pressure and extremely
high cholesterol. Your National Health
Care provider won't allow such an
unhealthy choice .

Customer: What?!?! What do you
recommend, then?

Operator: You might try our low-fat
Soybean Pizza.I'm sure you'll like
it.

Customer: What makes you think I'd like
something like that?

Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet
Soybean Recipes' from your local library
last week, sir. That's why I made the
suggestion.

Customer: All right, all right. Give me
two family-sized ones, then

Operator: That should be plenty for you,
your wife and your four kids.
Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir.
Your total is $49.99.

Customer: Lemme give you my credit card
number.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid
you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit
card balance is over its limit.

Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and
get some cash before your driver gets
here.

Operator: That won't work either, sir.
Your checking account is overdrawn also.

Customer: Never mind! Just send the
pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How
long will it take?

Operator: We're running a little behind,
sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If
you're in a hurry you might want to
pick'em up while you're out getting the
cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a
motorcycle can be a little awkward.

Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a
scooter?

Operator: It says here you're in arrears
on your car payments, so your
car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid
for and you just filled the tank
yesterday.

Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

Operator: I'd advise watching your
language, sir. You've already got a
July 4, 2003, conviction for cussing out
a cop and another one I see here in
September for contempt at your hearing
for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see
here that you just got out from a 90 day
stay in the State Correctional Facility.
Is this your first pizza since your
return to society?

Customer: (speechless)

Operator: Will there be anything else,
sir?

Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a
free 2 liter of Coke.

Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's
exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics. The New
Constitution our country started using
in 2006 prohibits this.
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!

- Miscellaneous: Mobsterisms, buying a bike in Beijing, interview with Beijing Weekend, ...

Welcome to the MOB web site